In a Hypothetical Civil War, The Bronx Would Squash the Other Boroughs in Victory

Vice recently asked journalists which borough would come out victorious if civil war (perish the thought) broke out between the five boroughs and one name popped up more than most: The Bronx.

Are we surprised?

Absolutely not because we are a borough still relatively made up by its original residents and not weak hipsters.

I mean, besides our geography which places us on the mainland, The Bronx is made up of a very hardy and resilient people who know how not only to defend themselves but to come out on top in times of adversary.

We are survivors.

The article in Vice writes about The Bronx coming up as the victor:

Up north, the Bronx is the only borough on the North American mainland; elevations heighten west of the Bronx River and in the north, making it ideal terrain for frontal defense, and retreat.

In order to survive, New York would have to return to its agrarian roots. That would happen most notably in Queens and the Bronx. Queens, which was once wealthy Manhattanites’ “rural escape” from the city, still has a number of farms active in the east that would have to be readjusted to wartime production. However, according to experts at CUNY’s Gotham Center the Bronx has the most farmable parkland in the five boroughs, providing it with the best opportunity to produce for the population. The question is how long this would all take to develop.

“Bronx wins. The rest of us starve in just weeks as they cut off the food chain, and also blow up the system bringing water down.”
–Harry Siegel, senior editor at the Daily Beast and Daily News columnist

But the most immediate threat is water. This entire scenario could shake out to a battle for New York’s H2O, all of which comes through aqueducts located in the Bronx, which can basically hold the city’s water supply hostage, forcing the other boroughs to either invade, or die of dehydration.

With its hilly terrain, island defenses, significant population, and control of the vital water supply, the BX could solidify its forces up north, and hold down the fort. But, I think, the real moral of this story is that for all of Manhattan’s wealth, power, and global influence, it doesn’t mean a thing once shit hits the fan. Honorable mention to Staten Island, who, in this war, would not be forgotten.

Up The Bronx!

Read the full piece over at Vice.